Lets face it: Life is complex. No matter our circumstances – single or married, caregivers or not, we all struggle to some degree to have a life while making a living. We each have a multitude of responsibilities, dreams and to-dos that demand energy and time.

Left to our own imaginations (and the likes of social media), we might all begin to think that everyone but us has this whole ‘work-life balance’ thing figured out with an immaculate house, thriving career, perfectly coiffed hair, highly engaged friends and family, money in the bank, and farm-to-fork gourmet meals prepared from scratch on the table.  Every night.

#myfabulouslife #doingitall #imeverywoman

Um, yeah. Not so much.
Seriously, don’t believe the hype.

I personally think that ‘work-life balance’ is actually very much like the unicorn:  beautiful, elusive and imaginary.

The very term ‘balance’ suggests that somehow we should all be able to marry career and personal life in a way that equitably divides the investment of our efforts.  Furthermore, ‘balance’ suggests that there is one, single right way to make things happen successfully at both home and the office and it looks/feels a specific way.

I am a proponent of what is more appropriately called ‘work-life integration.’ My work and personal life is all one big collection of activity.

Frankly, I like it that way.

I think that life ebbs-and-flows and we bob-and-weave right along with it.   Why not develop a rhythm of work-life that meets your needs instead of pursuing an unattainable ideal (i.e. perfect balance)?

To be clear, all work and no play makes us burned out, bitter human beings who fall short of our potential. I believe that it is important to have time to relax, renew and regroup but it is also just as critical to have intense periods of focus and productivity.

I think, however, that it is unrealistic to expect work and play to occur in equal measure all of the time.

Anyone who knows me can tell you that I spend a lot of time in office mode even when I’m not physically there.

But I also take personal time when I need it, and I don’t expect other people to do what works for me.  I’m not that broken up about answering email messages at 11 pm if it means that I can volunteer in my daughter’s classroom earlier in the day or meet a colleague for lunch across town.

Again, that’s me.

I don’t believe that life is an either/or proposition, but rather a holistic series of on-going compromises, choices and decisions.

If you want to assess the effectiveness of your current approach to work-life, I encourage you to:

1) Identify, understand and honor your priorities as well as your personal boundaries.  What matters most? What is non-negotiable in your view?

2) Be realistic about what your lifestyle and relationships (personal and professional) will support in terms of flexibility and autonomy.  What behaviors will the people in your inner circle understand and encourage?

3)  Be honest about what is working for you and what isn’t.  If you aren’t positioned to meet your most critical commitments at work or home, give some serious thought to what you can and will change.  What is going well?  What needs to shift?

Take the time to think about what works best for you and your circumstances when it comes to work and home life.  Periodic reflection will highlight opportunities to do something differently if and when you need to do so.

Does your approach to work-life serve you well?  Let me know on Facebook.